This Is A Second Act

Can creativity bring a 47-year old fulfillment? I hope so.

"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." Marcus Aurelius, Meditations.

Since retiring in 2018, I’ve been pursuing writing as a second career. 2023 started strong. A respected literary agent was shopping my novel (the fourth I’d written). A television show I co-created was generating interest from the company that produced Top Gun Maverick. And I’d forged relationships with writers I respect. Things were, as they say, trending up.

What a difference a year makes.

The show and novel died slow, painful deaths. Years of Hollywood mismanagement brought us two strikes and industry retrenchment. Studios aren’t buying projects like they once were. Publishing is on similarly shaky ground. In October Simon & Shuster was sold to a private equity firm. Breaking new writers is near-impossible. Editors operate on fear: will acquiring this book get me fired? If maybe, pass.

The industry passed, and in November I fired my agent.

(Disclaimer: I acknowledge the possibility my work may not good enough. But I read Falling by TJ Newman. That novel proves quality is not the sole determining factor in getting published.)

Five years after leaving the NYPD, I’m still where I started. Writing has left me feeling adrift. Not the work, but the selling. Or the attempts. My wife has launched two successful companies and is starting a third. I’ve written five novels, sold none, published four short stories, and whined. A lot.

This malaise isn’t unique to me. I’ve spoken to other Men of a Certain Age. An emptiness can descend when one thinks they’ve outlived their usefulness. What makes us content? It’s not money—no matter how much you have you’ll always want more—and it’s not “happiness”, whatever that is. No, I think life’s about fulfillment. For many people that means family. I’ve sought mine through creativity; writing and photography. Realizing this brought me back to good old Marcus and the quote that opened this post.

Ten years ago Ryan Holiday turned me onto stoicism with his book, The Obstacle is the Way. Can’t crack traditional publishing? Change course. Lean into the challenge.

I’m starting a SubStack. You’re currently reading its first post.

A Second Act will feature essays on creativity, art, culture, some light philosophy, and finding meaning in a batshit crazy world. I hope you’ll join me.